My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize