Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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