I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
