Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
