soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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