My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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