The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
