too bad you live with your parents still
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
