SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
its not stalking. its research.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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