i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
