So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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