mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Is Oprah even human
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
