and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
