I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
