I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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