She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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