There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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