it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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