He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize