My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
