I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
