that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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