Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
