I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
