I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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