can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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