How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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