i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
