physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
did i walk over a car last night?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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