im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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