That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize