Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
