One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
