U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize