party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
