I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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