Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
