are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
