my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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