how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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