put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
