You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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