she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize