Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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