i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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