Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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