I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
