i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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