I'd wear matching sweaters with you
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i barfeds in our rink
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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