The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
