at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize