2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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