we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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