and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
