Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You took a bar mat shot.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize