I saw his package. It spoke to me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
