Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
