This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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