she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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